Star Trek Light Bulb Jokes

I've been on a Star Trek kick lately. I've watched the entirety of The Next Generation, and moved on to Deep Space Nine, which I'm now on season 4 of. In the spirit of Babylon 5 Light Bulb Jokes, I've been coming up with Star Trek light bulb jokes while I work on the deck. (Which is turning into a bigger project than I anticipated. I want to strangle the house's previous owners who didn't maintain it properly for years.)

Q: How many Bajorans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I didn't spend five years in a Cardassian labor camp just to change your light bulbs!

Q: How many Cardassians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change the bulb, and one to claim it was always lit.
A: I don't know, why don't you tell me?
A: Just one. [delivered with a smug grin]

Q: How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. One to remove the old bulb, one to fetch a new bulb, one to screw in the new bulb, and one to dispose of the old bulb.
A: Resistance is futile. You will be illuminated.

Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Why change the bulb? A warrior does not fear the dark!

Q: How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It is illogical to use such outdated illumination technology.

Q: How many Ferengi does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but if you change them in bulk, he can offer you a substantial discount.
A: Three. One to change the bulb for a small fee, one to research the average life of a light bulb, and one to sell you a warranty that expires just before the bulb does.
A: I'd be happy to tell you...for a small fee.

Q: How many Starfleet captains does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to go on the away mission instead of the ship's Lighting Maintenance Officer, one to start a fistfight with whoever broke the old bulb, and one to activate the ship's self-destruct sequence in case the bulb can't be changed.

Q: How many Romulans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb, and four to hang around in cloaked Warbirds in case anyone tries anything funny while he's doing it.
A: I'm not sure--nobody's ever actually seen them doing it.

I don't know why, but light bulb jokes about fictional universes are probably my favorite joke form ever. I am, I admit, a bit of a nerd.

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